1. |
Hand
03:18
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And I catch my face shining back in the microwave door
Oh yeah, that’s what I look like now
Don’t look that old way anymore
Stayin’ up all night trying on nice clothes that I tore
So these are my memories
Guess that’s what I chose to store
But how long can I sing the same old song
How long can I sing the same old song
How many words have you heard for “it’s going wrong”?
And I catch myself staring up from the spot I stand
Oh yeah that’s what my mind rests on
That’s the line drawn in the sand
And my voice sticks swift in the midst of an infinite chant
it says do what you want with your voice
Just match your voice up to your hand
And how long can I sing an unfamiliar song?
How long can I sing an unfamiliar song?
Hoping my mind is clear and my lungs are strong
And I catch myself tricked that the crickets are saying amen
An old song but one to live by
Maybe I can be like them
And I come from a numbness that I never knew as a friend
You can fight off these specters forever
Glad to see myself again
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2. |
Bug
03:50
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Sounds nice I guess,
Jacob wrestles with his mess
Jacob wrestles with the best
Shadows dance across the west
I’ll know me then
After I shed and jettison
And merge with my imagining
A gardener, a citizen
Rocks on the pane,
You said how can I make this plain?
ah, how can I make this plain?
You can’t do shit up in your brain
How stung I felt
Said you can take it up with hell
You can take it up with hell
Middle fingers parallel
I don’t see this bug ever leaving me
I can be your bug.
You said oh please, that’s just a story
And a convenient one.
I’m good, no more-
Don’t you open up that door
Don’t you open up that door
Don’t you open up that door
I made this mess
and I'm the one who knows it best
I'm the one who knows it best
and I'm the one who gets it dressed
I don’t see this bug ever leaving me
It will be my bug
You said “maybe, but don’t you stay sorry
Don’t you dare give up”
[muttering]
I don’t see this bug ever leaving me
I will be your bug.
You said I believe you and there's much more to you
Than a weevil, bud
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3. |
Misery
03:51
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Prairie burns, stem to seed
That’s what happened to you and me
Wild grass grows from the char
Spring feels so very far away from me
It’s misery
I dug a rut around the border
And that contained the fire sort of
You took my hand hesitantly
And that’s the way I watched you walk away from me
It’s misery
It comes around year to year
I feel again what’s always here
Tended what grew, ignored the weeds
I tend to sew these things I reap
they stay with me
In misery
Stay with me in misery
Away from me, my misery
Hyacinth unfurls its leaves
The worm within the robin’s beak is squirmingly
In misery
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4. |
tyfctts
03:01
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There were some things to fix
My playing there was not so hot
And I think later on my strings were shot
Or maybe I just had a spell
It's hard to tell
Results were clear
I wish some other night
was the night that you were here
You should have heard it when
We played it in my living room
like my whole spirit was born anew
Or anyway we played it well
I wish you'd tell
Me this was bad
I forgot to ask you
About the kind of day you've had
Isn't performance so contrived
I gripe to hide my wide ego
Thank you for coming to the show
The thing I meant to say
Is that I read The Argonauts
Just a little, more done than not
Kinda boring without the golden fleece
Thats tongue-in-cheek
About the title
I didn't eat all day
Might try to grab a bite
The room was awfully full
Don't we all seem so far away?
It's strange to me that people stay
So present though the past exists
...that's not quite it
Think I'm just tired
Catch me before you leave
I'd like to say goodbye
I wanted things that words won't bring
my choice of words less so
Thank you for coming to the show
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5. |
Most of It
02:41
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Talk to me, Talk to me
I've been through it all too
Well, most of it
oh god there's so many things I'll never go through
Rest your eyes, rest your eyes
there's no danger in the night
yeah I know
Some things are easy enough for me to say, alright
To love you better
I gotta know me better
If I can't know me better
what do I lose?
I was feeling far away
you were lying beside me
I could not take what's inside of you
and make it what's inside of me
I know what's apart from me now
how can I be of use?
Might have to do what you don't have to do
Got my hand on my chest
in the search for a heartbeat
and that's how it goes now
when I can't sleep
Have I turned away?
Have I cowered from mystery?
Because evil crawls into my mind
that's not been in my history
I know what's a part of me now
Is it part of you too?
I'm not gonna do what I'm not gonna do.
To love me better
you've gotta know me better
If you can't know me better
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6. |
Most of It II
03:20
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Stitch my heart or switch my skin
I see the spiral, I fall in again
“Most of it you’ll never know”
Come the sirens through the burr oaks
I feel myself become obscure
Break the silence with a "yeah, sure"
Not all truth needs to be sung out
An impacted tooth gets dug out
You're missing, are you listening?
Wrecked with echoes bouncing inside of me
Past selves built their temples there
All the altars now are lawn chairs
I love you more than
I will do more than
Endless performing
Endless reforming
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7. |
Box Elder
02:38
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Lying on the dry grass in the dry heat
Twirling a helicopter leaf from a boxelder tree
Thinking this is what it was to be fourteen
Reading to keep my mind off ant colonies beneath
Am I changing? is it changing me?
Crossing Western with a soreness in me
It’s just the memory of a memory
Feeling the sweat on my back start to creep
Back in my body, a new pain in my knee
Am I changing? Is it changing me?
Watching everything at once like a volley
Of arrows, like a jet engine, like bees
Wondering if this arugula is too old to eat
And if I’ll ever run down blood-stained streets
Am I changing? Is it changing me?
Carving out safe space for a family
Wondering when it hit the fallen tree
that it would petrify by the water seeping
I can avoid that certainty
If I’m changing, if it’s changing me
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